The Dog Food Diet

 

Photo Credit: Diaper via CC Flickr
Photo Credit: Diaper via CC Flickr

So, I’m at Wal-Mart today buying a bag of dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT???

So on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awoke in intensive care with tubes coming out of every orifice and IVs in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with dog food nuggets and simply eat a few every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to lick myself and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Now that you’ve read this, I have to confess – I copied it.

Now copy and share make someone else laugh!

14 thoughts on “The Dog Food Diet

Add yours

Like What You Read? Leave a Reply :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Moments with God

A Place Where God Speaks to Hearts

Izabell Key

breathe to write

Sun & Shield

Shining God's light in the world's darkness

midnightweaver

A directory of wonderful things

bodyandsoulnourishmentblog

Welcome to my site to find inspiration and nourishment for the body and soul

FIT IS A FEMINIST ISSUE

Feminist reflections on fitness, sport, and health

Devi Venkatesan

"Feel more Confidence, Strength and Happiness here everyday"

Duke University Press News

What's New at Duke University Press

unexpected occurrence

a life of serendipity

What an Amazing World!

Seeing, feeling and exploring places and cultures of the world

My Good Time Stories

Inspiring and Heartwarming Stories

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Around ZuZu's Barn

Conversations with Kindred Spirits

Jean's Writing

Jean M. Cogdell, Author-Writing something worth reading, one word at a time in easy to swallow bite size portions.

David Torkington

Christian Prayer and Mystical Theology

Death of an Inside Salesman

Surviving the everyday struggles of an Inside Salesman.

the accidental sufi

Rapture Rider

surprise saffron

relishing in life's surprises, delighting in food, travel, art

%d bloggers like this: