The Dog Food Diet

 

Photo Credit: Diaper via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Diaper via CC Flickr

So, I’m at Wal-Mart today buying a bag of dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT???

So on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awoke in intensive care with tubes coming out of every orifice and IVs in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with dog food nuggets and simply eat a few every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to lick myself and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Now that you’ve read this, I have to confess – I copied it.

Now copy and share make someone else laugh!

  14 comments for “The Dog Food Diet

  1. yeseventhistoowillpass
    May 17, 2014 at 11:31 pm

    Classic! What did Bugs Bunny say, “What a maroon!”

    Like

  2. May 17, 2014 at 11:44 pm

    Thanks Coach

    Like

  3. May 18, 2014 at 12:15 am

    This is funny. I’ll have to do a spin off on it sometime when I get asked a stupid question.

    Like

  4. aimingtobegreen
    May 18, 2014 at 2:58 am

    Brilliant!

    Like

  5. May 18, 2014 at 3:26 am

    Soooo funny!!!!

    Like

  6. May 18, 2014 at 5:21 am

    Hah I saw this in my Facebook and copied it a while back it’s great fun 🙂

    Like

  7. Marge Gregory
    May 18, 2014 at 8:04 am

    Funny story!

    Like

  8. May 18, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Hilarious!

    Like

  9. May 18, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    Reblogged this on New Author -Carole Parkes and commented:
    This gave me the giggles.

    Like

  10. May 18, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    I enjoyed this story so much I just had to reblog it.

    Like

  11. May 18, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    Here’s your sign.

    Like

  12. aranyakghosh
    July 16, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    Loved the whole read..You may check this place for Friendship Day Quotes

    Like

    • July 17, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      Very nice site!!! Thanks for the invite!!! I’ll be back often!!

      Like

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