His Journey Has Just Begun

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My father passed away a few years ago and there isn’t a day that goes past that I don’t think of him. I miss the times that we shared together fishing, traveling, camping, laughing, and doing the plethora of other things that I loved to do with him. He was more than a father to me, he was my buddy, my confidant, my best friend.

Today, I was going through my desk here at home and came across a poem that a friend of mine had shared with us. For some reason, I don’t remember reading it at the time, but after reading it today, it brought a sense of comfort to my heart.

It is for this reason that I felt as though I should share it with other people that may be going through a time of grief, loss, or nostalgia.

So, here is the poem…

“His Journey’s Just Begun”

Don’t think of him as gone away,

His journey’s just begun.

Life holds so many facets,

This earth is only one.

—–

Just think of him as resting,

From the sorrows and the tears.

A place of warmth and comfort,

Where there are no days and years.

—-

Think how he must be wishing,

That we could know today.

How nothing but our sadness,

Can really pass away.

—-

And think of him as living,

In the hearts of those he touched.

For nothing loved is ever lost,

And he was loved so much.

~ Ellen Brenneman

Remembering Our Loved Ones

black and white boy child childhood

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All of us have relatives or other people that we know who are advancing in years and who are people that we might consider, “getting old.” As they progress in their age, we sometimes lose our patience with them and become mad or angry. We forget the times when we were younger, that they were kind, caring, and tolerant of our persistent questions and inquiries about so many things.

It is important for all of us to remember our aged loved ones and the love they once openly demonstrated for us.

The following story is a great example of this idea…

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An 80-year-old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son when suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The father asked his son, “What is this?” The son replied, “It is a crow”. After a few minutes, the father asked his son the 2nd time, “What is this?” The son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crow”. After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, “What is this?”

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”. A little after, the father again asked his son the 4th time, “What is this?”

This time the son shouted at his father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?”

A little later the father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his son was born. On opening a page, he asked his son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary.

“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa when a crow was sitting on the window. My son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated, I rather felt affection for my innocent child”.

While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the father asked his son the same question just 4 times, the son felt irritated and annoyed.

So…

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. You should remind and tell yourself every day, “I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love for me. I will serve my old parents in the BEST way I can. I will always try to say good and kind words to them, no matter how they behave.”

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today”.

———————–

“Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”

A Special Bonus Video!

The Most Important Things to Teach Our Children

girl and boy standing and hugging

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In today’s world, there is an incredible amount of stress and pressure put onto children in a variety of ways.  Some parents have an unhealthy and obsessive desire to see their son or daughter be the top player on a sports team or athletic activity, be the smartest kid in their class, or be the most handsome or beautiful individual in all the land. There are parents that put an unbelievable burden on their children to achieve high levels of excellence…sometimes unattainable.

There is nothing wrong for parents to want the best for their kids but perhaps we should all teach our children things that will allow them to be successful and contribute their talents and gifts in other ways. The following little ditty is a great reminder for us to teach our children the most important things in life.

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Don’t become preoccupied with your child’s academic ability

but instead…

Teach them to sit with those sitting alone

Teach them to be kind

Teach them to offer their help

Teach them to be a friend to the lonely

Teach them to encourage others

Teach them to share

Teach them to look for the good in people

 

This is how they will change the world

 

@darcysmoments

Someday I’ll Tell My Children

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Someday, when my child is old enough to appreciate what motivates and parent and makes them do what they do, I’ll tell them…

I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, who you were with, and what time would you be home.

I loved you enough to worry and nag you about your health.

I loved you enough to choose your temporary upset, in the hope that the lessons would bring you longterm happiness.

I loved you enough to be “overprotective.”

I loved you enough to not make excuses for your bad manners and lack of respect.

I loved you enough to choose to put myself last, every day.

I loved you enough to ignore what “every other parent” did.

I loved you enough to remove people that loved from my life, so that could protect you.

I loved you enough to let you stumble, fail, and fall so that you could learn to stand alone.

But most of all, I loved you enough to risk you hating me for decisions that I made in the hope that I was doing what was best for you…that was the hardest part of all.

———————————-

So, what will be some things that you share with your child or children when the right time comes?

 

 

A Bowl of Noodles

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Learning lessons can be a curious business. People learn lessons in life in a variety of ways and today’s story is a fabulous tale how a little girl learned a valuable lesson…a lesson that we should all take to heart and thank those special people that we know and love.

Sometimes, even the simplest things in life can teach us lessons that will serve as reminders to us about the goodness of life…such as a simple bowl of noodles.

One night, a little girl had a terrible quarrel with her mother, then stormed out of the house. While she was out roaming the town, she suddenly realized that she did not have any money in her pocket, she didn’t even have enough coins to make a phone call home.

After walking around for what seemed like hours, her stomach began to growl and she began to get very hungry. She suddenly smelled a sweet fragrance and discovered a noodle shop, one of her favorite foods to eat. How she wished for a bowl of noodle soup! But she had one problem, she had no money!

The owner of the eatery saw her standing at the counter and noticed her sad face and demeanor and said, “Hi there little girl, you want to have a bowl of noodles?

The little girl just shook her head and shyly replied, “I do not have any money

“Okay, I’ll tell you what, I’ll treat you,” said the owner, “come in, I will cook you a bowl.”
A few minutes later the owner brought her a steaming bowl of noodles. The little girl was so happy to see the food and started to gobble up the delicious food…then suddenly started to cry.

“What is it? What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”, asked the store owner.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I am just touched by your kindness!”, the girl said as she wiped her the tears from her face. “I can’t believe it. Even a stranger on the street gives me a bowl of noodles. My mother is so mean and cruel. We had a huge fight and I decided to leave her. I have the worst mother on earth”

The store owner sighed and asked, “why did you think so? I want you to think again. I gave you a simple bowl of noodles and you were happy and content. Your mother has raised you since you were little. She has taken care of you, fed you, clothed you, and loved you. Why are you not grateful and thankful? Is this soup more important than your mother?

After hearing this, the girl was very sad then said to herself, “Why did I not think of that? A bowl of noodles from a stranger made me feel thankful and happy, while my mother has raised me since I was born, and I have never once felt so grateful and appreciative…I never once said thank you.”

On her way home, the little girl thought to herself what she would say to her mother when she arrived home: “Mom, I’m sorry. I know it is my fault, please forgive me … ”

After a while, she arrived back to her home and started to climb the stairs. Suddenly, she looked up and saw her mother full of worry and exhausted from looking for her everywhere. Upon seeing her daughter, her mother gently said: “Come inside honey. You are probably very hungry. I cooked rice and prepared the meal already, come eat while it is still hot …”
Unable to control her regret and sadness any longer, the little girl began to sob in her mom’s hands.

You see folks, in life, we sometimes find it easy to appreciate the small actions of some people around us, but for the relatives, especially parents, we often overlook their love and sacrifices and look at them as a matter of natural, mundane actions…we take them for granted.

Parental love, care, and concern are the most precious gifts we have been blessed to have since the day we were born.

Parents do not expect us to pay them back for nurturing and caring for us…but how much do REALLY appreciate or treasure the unconditional sacrifice and love of our parents?

A great point to ponder.

So…take some time today to thank your parents. Give them a hug, a kiss, thank them for all that they have done for you, or just tell them a simple I love you.

Remember…

Love your parents

And treat them with loving care

For you will only know their value

When you see their empty chair

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Story Source (Revised): Moral Stories – Ogbuagu Henry Chiedozie

Children: They Learn What They Live

three children sitting on stairs

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Children have always fascinated me. I have been a teacher, coach, camp director, and counselor, etc., for over 30 years. I have seen all kinds of children during that time. There are children who are very well behaved, fun to have around, and a joy to know. Some are quiet, reserved, secluded, and would rather do things by themselves. Still others, are belligerent, disobedient, nasty and mean. It really is a fascinating thing how individuals can have such a variety of personalities, behaviors, and mannerisms.

I have discovered that a majority of the time, the people that are good, wholesome, and well-rounded, have been brought up in a caring, loving, and nurturing family whereas individuals that have been raised in a negative or repressed environment possess the traits that aren’t as likable. Basically, it all comes down to the way a person is raised.

All of this leads me to today’s story.

Many years ago, a woman named Dorothy Law used to write a daily column for one of her local newspapers regarding family matters. One day, she was up against the deadline to get an article into the newspaper and she was short on material, so she created a 14-line poem which dealt with childrearing. It soon took on a life of its own and became a type of guideline millions and millions of parents around the world.  For many, many years after the article was published, it was widely thought that the poem was written anonymously. Dr. Nolte never received credit or compensation and, believe it or not, wasn’t even aware that her writing had grown to the great popularity that it has become, and had forgotten about it. It wasn’t until 1974 that she decided to copyright her poem and later, wrote a best-selling book, “Children Learn What They Live: Parenting to Inspire Values,” along with a co-author, Rachel Harris.

Dr. Dorothy Nolte died in 1988 at the ripe old age of 81, but she left with the world, a timeless poem that will forever serve as a reminder to parents, the importance of raising their children with integrity, character, and thoughtfulness towards others.

It is my hope that you will enjoy this poem and share it with your loved ones.

Children Learn What They Live ~ by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about

them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

 

As a parent…what will you do? If you are NOT a parent, how will you treat others?

14 Ways Sports Parents Can Greatly Influence Their Young Athletes

Photo Credit: Jim Larrison

Photo Credit: Jim Larrison

Well folks, it getting to be that time of year again when a variety of sports begin: soccer, football, tennis, etc. The start of the fall sports season also signals the involvement of thousands upon thousands of eager little athletes as they take the fields and get ready for action.

Along with these adolescent competitor, will be a host of parents who will either be spectators or coaches. Today’s blog, has to do mainly with the moms, dads, and relatives who will be watching the festivities on the sideline.

Many of you know that I have been a teacher and coach for over 30 years. I have coached and taught at just about every age level throughout my career. It was once said that if a person loves what they do, they never work a day in their life…and you know what? That’s the way I feel..I love what I do.

So, today I decided to share with you (if you are a parent of a young athlete) 14 “keys” that can help parents be a positive influence in their young athletes lives. I found this list from a college basketball coach who got this list from someone else…therefore the author of this list is unknown but very, very good!!

Please feel free to share this list with anyone who you feel could use it!!

Tell your child every time that you watch them play, “I loved watching you play!”: Please think about how that would make you feel! I know that that would make anybody feel great!

Do not soften the blow for your child after a loss: If they lose, teach them not to make excuses, to learn from the loss and move on. Many times the players move from the loss quicker then the parents. We get better through set-backs if we face our challenges head on. It also makes us mentally tougher and resilient…two important life skills.

Do not coach your child: Coaching your child may confuse your child. Allow them to experience how to deal with others. Encourage your child to listen to their coach. The #1 advice I could give a parent is to find a program where you agree with the philosophy of the coach and then allow them to coach. A very simple definition of each person’s role puts it into perspective: Players=Play, Coaches=Coach, Parents=Support, Officials=Officiate. Make sure to play your role well and not someone else’s role.

Teach them to be a part of something greater than themselves: Teach them this by applauding their effort and their ability to be coached. Do not coach them to look to score, “take over” the game, show-off their talent, shoot more, or run-up the score. If you teach them to be “me” players, they will miss the experience of being part of a team. Teamwork teaches humility and makes life work…all players need to learn it.

Do not approach your child’s coach about playing time: Encourage your child to speak with their coach. A coach should be honest with their players about where they stand and what they need to do to improve. Your job is not to approach the coach about playing time. Your child needs to learn to advocate for themselves and learn how to communicate with others. Remember that a player being a valuable member of the team is important…it is not all about playing time. Also, they may be a less experienced player and may need to develop. Many players do not come into their own until their senior year.

Do not compare your child to others, but encourage them to be the best that they can be! If a parent is constantly trying to have their child be better than someone else, the child will always be second best…but if you encourage your child to be the best that they can be and compete to be that way everyday, they will get better and they will reach their potential.

Cheer for all!…AND never speak negatively about your child, another child or a coach: We would not want anyone to speak negatively about our child, so do not speak of someone else’s child in a detrimental manner.

Be Self-Disciplined: Sports can be very emotional…they can bring out the best in us and the worst in us if we are not careful. Keep your emotions under control. Would you want someone yelling at you from the stands? Would you want someone yelling at you from work?

Let it be your child’s experience: In order to do so, we must acknowledge that we cannot control the experience of our child…that’s why it is called an experience. When we experience something we will have good times and bad times, great moments and average plays, we will deal with victory and defeat…allow your child to experience these highs and lows in sport which will allow them to experience the ups and downs of life…if we try to control the experience, our child is not being prepared for life.

Teach them to play for the love of the game (NOT A TROPHY): Teach your child that they are playing for the love of the game, for their teammates, for the love of competition. Think about if you could teach your child to be a great competitor, a great teammate and love what they do…that would be special!! In youth sports, we need to get away from the fact that everyone gets a trophy…if we do, we are teaching them to play for the reward rather then understanding that the reward is playing the game itself.

Focus on process: Sports like life are a process and we need to attack the process everyday to               grow and get better. The process is hard work, knowledge, attitude, perseverance,                                        teamwork, coachability, dealing with success and failure…and winning is the by-product…in sports             and in life!

Enjoy the journey of your child: Any journey we take is bound to have great moments,some bad moments, and some moments that we laugh at….enjoy the journey with your childand do not agonize over every single play, a decision by the coach, a good or bad game by the team or your child. In 25 years, you will wish you were watching your child play…so enjoy the journey!

Be a parent, not a fan: Your child will make mistakes, your child is not always perfect. Teach them when the time is right and make sure to compliment them when needed.

Do not make excuses: “The teacher or coach does not like me” is a familiar excuse…in the end, coaches like children that play hard, are coachable, have a great attitude, show perseverance, are a good teammate, and know how to deal with success and failure in positive ways…the important thing is to teach your child all of these attributes!,