The Grateful Whale

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If you read the front page story of the San Francisco Chronicle on Thursday, December 15, 2005, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines.

The fifty-foot whale was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her tail, her torso and a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her – a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed them gently around – she thanked them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.

The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate today – to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you.

And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude!!!

Source: Unknown

A Millenial at 56 Years old!!

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Congratulations!! I would like to thank you for reading this blog because today, you will one of the people that discovers why, at age 56, I am a Millenial. The reason? Today, this blog will be number 1,000 for me as the founder, editor, writer for this blog!! I am now an official Millenial Blogger!! I don’t know if that is actually a word but it sounds good!  🙂

It wasn’t until recently that I looked how many stories that I have posted and discovered that I was just a few away from this magical number. I NEVER thought that I would ever find that many interesting stories, pictures, anecdotes, etc., to make it this far! I consider myself very fortunate and blessed to have had almost 1.4 million views and the untold number of people who have been impacted in some way from the site. Hopefully, I will be able to post many, many more of these kinds of things that will enlighten and uplift people around the globe.

In celebration of my latest achievement (if you want to call it that), I have decided to post the FIRST BLOG that I ever created starting back on February 26, 2013. The name of the posting was “A Mother’s Love”.

It is my hope that you will enjoy it the same way as the first people who ever visited “Good Time Stories” did “Aa way back then.”

A MOTHERS LOVE

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00

For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00

For going to the store for you: $.50

Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25

Taking out the garbage: $1.00

For getting a good report card: $5.00

For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00

Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he’d written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me:

No Charge

For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you:

No Charge

For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years:

No Charge

For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead:

No Charge

For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose:

No Charge

Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is:

No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, “Mom, I sure do love you.” And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL”.

Lessons to Learn:
1) You will never how much your parents worth till you become a parent
2) Be a giver not a taker, especially with your parents. there is a lot to give, besides money.

Advice: IF your mom is alive and close to you, give her a big kiss and ask her for forgiveness. If she is far away, call her. if she passed away, pray for her.

Mom’s are Awesome….ALWAYS Remember them and love them.

It’s Time to Clean the Refrigerator!

woman wearing pink knit top opening refrigerator
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

 

Nobody likes a mess! Dirty laundry, dusty shelves, unkept rooms, filthy floors, greasy dishes, dungy basements, smudged windows, smelly garbage cans, the list can go on and on. Unfortunately, and we all have to do it, we need to put on our working shoes, roll up our sleeves, and get to work to clean up these messes.

Today, I am sharing a story contributed by my friend, Charlene, author of the website, “Boot-camp Has Chandeliers”. in which she shares an enjoyable little tale of a mundane job, that most of us have done at some point of our lives, and describes the chore to us in an amusing way.

I would like to encourage you to visit her site and read other contributions that she has written. I am sure that you will like some of her other writings as well.

Here we go…

Clean the Refrigerator Day!
Don’t ya just dislike cleaning a refrigerator? Don’t ya wish they would be self-
cleaning; wouldn’t ya think someone would have come up with that by now?

Ya know, I don’t remember if Mom taught me how to clean one or if I am self-
taught. I just know that I pretty much follow a routine and do not use chemicals
to do so.

The first thing that I do is “dress for it” like putting grubby clothes on cause I know
I’m going to get dirty more or less and I just don’t like it. Anyway, then I put my
hair up so it doesn’t get in my face and head to the kitchen.

I grab a bundle of paper towels, a couple of scrubbers that don’t scratch
anything but do the job; my trusty Mr. Clean thingys (I know… that is probably
not a word, but anyway….I just love those things because they do a wonderful
job on just about anything!) Then I put the stopper in the sink and run hot water
with Dawn, using a couple of cap-fulls of Vinegar in the water and I’m ready. I
am prepared to sit on a chair if I have to for some of those sections because
getting on my knees is very uncomfortable and at the bottom sections; yup, I sit
on the floor.

I think I watched Mom once just empty the whole “refrige” at once; I don’t do
that, I do little areas at a time….I know, maybe it sounds like it will take forever
but there is really a method to my madness. I just do it in sections; remove the
stuff that’s in that particular section and depending on how bad it is I might just
take the paper towel and dampen it to get surface stuff up first and do the inside
of the doors. Those are the easier areas as surfaces go. I gotta remove all the stuff
in the door and if it’s there more than a year and marked that way, I just toss it.
If I can liquefy anything and put it down the disposal I do that and then throw
away the container.

The yuckiest part is the cleaning the trays and crispers; right? You know what
those are…..ewwww! I won’t go into detail cause you might get sick but…..those
“have” to come out and soak! Then I have to stick my head in those hard to
reach areas and get the crud out of there. Oh, I hate doing that (who designed
these things anyway?) This is the most difficult area to reach! The trays and
crispers are soaking while I do this part and I can’t wait to get to the higher
places so I don’t have to bend over so much; get my drift?

Now, what I have also been doing is wiping off those bottles, jars, food containers
that I keep and taking everything sticky off of them, make sense? What good is a
clean and fresh fridge if containers are yucky?

Ok; I’m just about done, it’s getting easier and the trays and crispers are back in
place and the bottom and middle parts are done; just have the top…..whew! The
hard part is over; to my thinking anyway. Just a few more things to put in place
keeping everything neat and tidy as I go. I look at the clock…..it just took me two
and a half hours to do this, wow! I don’t know what the standard is but I’m
thinking “not too bad.”

So; that is what I did today my fellow travelers. Did you enjoy your little
adventure with me? Are you as tired as I am? Time for a little snack so I will
finish off with a Klondike bar while a sit and relax. Oh yes, I still listen for the
Father’s voice but I think He was enjoying this because He knows there are no
refrigerators in Heaven…..LOL! I think I can hear Him chuckle…….till next
time…..

Have a wonderful day and share a smile with someone!

**If you have a story or an anecdote that you would like to contribute, please send them my way or LMK…IT’S FREE ADVERTSING!

Hooray! Free Publicity for Your Blog!

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Have you ever wanted the opportunity to get free publicity for your site and have the chance to have your blog shared with other people…for free? Well, I have great news…here is your opportunity!!!

As some of you already know, I enjoy finding stories that inspire, encourage, motivate, or uplift people. There is nothing better than sharing a good story with others…there is enough garbage and bad news going on in the world today. What people REALLY want is to hear uplifting, good-news stories.

So, I am asking anyone who may be interested in sharing a story (or two) of something or someone that you think would be an encouragement or inspiration to others, to send them to me, Once I receive them (and approve them), I will post your story and give your site exposure and publicity to my readers and other visitors…FOR FREE!

Once again, they should be stories that are funny, inspirational, motivational, encouraging, anecdotes, stories that teach morals, etc.

Please send your stories to: 1986purpleknights@gmail.com

A Nightmare in Norway

architecture buildings europe houses
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As most of you already know, I enjoy finding inspirational, motivational, heartwarming stories and any other kind of story, picture, etc. that will leave a person giggling, smiling, or feeling good about life. Well, today’s story is no exception. The author is unknown, but the story is a tale about some soldiers who confronted a mob of angry warriors and an eyewitness account of what they experienced…then lived to tell the tale.

Here is their story.

“We were in the United States Marines, doing a mock war in the Norwegian city of Trondheim with the Dutch, Germans, and other allies, training in urban combat> My infantry unit was positioned in a large soccer field next to an elementary school. Keep in mind there was no actual combat, even simulated; it was mostly just practicing maneuvers and tactics. But we still looked out of place with our weapons and gear, etc. It was February in Norway. Cold a sheck. Snow up to our knees. Norway obviously has no snow days, so the kids were all in school.

Anyway, so Norway has this most delicious and amazing delicacy, I have no idea what it is called, but it is basically a bacon-wrapped hot dog; we assumed it was called Candy of the Lord. As Americans, we were naturally and instantly addicted. You find them in gas stations, and there just happened to be one on the other side of the school where we were camped. A few of my fellow Marines and I requested permission to go to the gas station and we set out on our way.

We made it to right about where the main entrance of the school was, and the doors opened…school was out. There were only a few kids, probably 6 or 7 years old. Lots of talking and laughing. Gawking at us as we walked by, with our guns and huge ridiculous snow suits. One precocious little guy made shooting noises at us. We made shooting noises right back.

Then someone in my group…I don’t know who…God help me, I don’t know who…

Someone threw a snowball and hit a little girl in the leg.

Then those little Norwegian children unleashed hell.

There was a shrill cry of unintelligible gibberish and the doors of the school burst open. School children flooded out like a never-ending flood of something that never ends. Screeching, smiling, sprinting – how in the world were they sprinting?” the little bastards were slinging snowballs faster than the law of physics should allow. It was like the movie Elf. If you can imagine riding fast in a car during a snowstorm and sticking your head out the window. Now imagine the snowflakes that are hitting your face are snowballs.

We couldn’t see a thing. We couldn’t run.

We could barely breathe

We were in hell.

We tried to return fire and threw one, maybe two half-packed crappy snowballs that fell apart in the air, arms flailing like a wimpy little kid. I am from Texas. We are a unit stationed in North Carolina. We were so outmatched and out of our element, it made them laugh even harder. We were cut off from our main forces. We tried to perform a flanking maneuver, but they were too fast. I think that some of them were even throwing rocks!

As for my comrades, I could see them speed waddling in their huge snow suits back to camp like a messed-up pair of Teletubbies under withering fire. Screw tactics, screw me, screw the Candy of the Lord…this was survival! I was the slow one in the group. My snow boots were too big but they were the smallest size they had at the Issue tent! My Marines had left me behind!

I tried pulling my hood over my head and keeping my head down. No longer content to pelt my body with ballistic snow, the enemy swarmed me and dragged me down, cackling like a bunch of hyenas descending on a wildebeest.  I tried to sling them off me by spinning. I came out of one of my boots and fell. I began to scream and plead for them to stop but they neither understood nor gave a single Nordic damn. They literally pinned me down with about five kids on each limb. It was then that I actually thought – “oh crap…I’m really in trouble.” My snow mittens were ripped off and flung into the trees. They started shoveling snow down my suit. Have you ever had anyone drop an ice cube down your back? Well, now imagine someone shoveling handfuls of ice cubes down your shirt. It literally shocked the breath out of my body!

They left me laying there like a Family Guy accident victim. Moaning and screaming in the cold. Rifle packed with snow and dirt. Boot buried somewhere. The kids ran away laughing and jabbering in their crazy language. I just lay there trying to figure out what in the world had just happened.”

 

Have a safe, warm day!

The Golden Slippers

Hilary McHone
Photo credit: Hilary McHone via CC Flickr

There are times in each of our lives when we need a reminder of the importance of having a spirit of giving and generosity towards others. Thus, is the case for the following story that I had posted on an old blog page of mine. While the author of this story is unknown, it is a beautiful story that I am sure will touch your heart and hopefully, remind all of us of the wonderful essence of a caring heart. (warning: tissues may be needed 🙂
It was only four days before Christmas. The spirit of the season hadn’t yet caught up with me, even though cars packed the parking lot of our local discount store. Inside the store, it was worse. Shopping carts and last-minute shoppers jammed the aisles. Why did I come today? I wondered. My feet ached almost as much as my head. My list contained names of several people who claimed they wanted nothing, but I knew their feelings would be hurt if I didn’t buy them anything. Buying for someone who had everything and deploring the high cost of items, I considered gift-buying anything but fun.

Hurriedly, I filled my shopping cart with last minute items and proceeded to the long checkout lines. I picked the shortest but it looked as if it would mean at least a 20 minute wait. In front of me were two small children — a boy of about 5 and a younger girl. The boy wore a ragged coat. Enormously large, tattered tennis shoes jutted far out in front of his much too short jeans. He clutched several crumpled dollar bills in his grimy hands. The girl’s clothing resembled her brother’s. Her head was a matted mass of curly hair. Reminders of an evening meal showed on her small face. She carried a beautiful pair of shiny, gold house slippers.

As the Christmas music sounded in the store’s stereo system, the girl hummed along, off-key but happily. When we finally approached the checkout register, the girl carefully placed the shoes on the counter. She treated them as though they were a treasure.

The clerk rang up the bill. “That will be $6.09,” she said.
The boy laid his crumpled dollars on top of the stand while he searched his pockets. He finally came up with $3.12. “I guess we will have to put them back, ” he bravely said. “We will come back some other time, maybe tomorrow.”

With that statement, a soft sob broke from the little girl. “But Jesus would have loved these shoes, “she cried.

“Well, we’ll go home and work some more. Don’t cry. We’ll come back,” he said.

Quickly I handed $3.00 to the cashier. These children had waited in line for a long time. And, after all, it was Christmas. Suddenly a pair of arms came around me and a small voice said, “Thank you, lady.”

“What did you mean when you said Jesus would like the shoes?” I asked.

The boy answered, “Our mommy is sick and going to heaven. Daddy said she might go before Christmas to be with Jesus.”
The girl spoke, “My Sunday school teacher said the streets in heaven are shiny gold, just like these shoes. Won’t mommy be beautiful walking on those streets to match these shoes?”

My eyes flooded as I looked into her tear streaked face. “Yes,” I answered, “I am sure she will.”

Silently I thanked God for using these children to remind me of the true spirit of giving.

The Greatest Distance in the World

Kevin Gill
Photo Credit: Kevin Gill via CC Flickr

A mile is 5.280 feet long. The distance between New York City and London, England is approximately 3,500 miles, New York City to Hong Kong around 8,000 miles. If you took a trip around the globe, you would travel almost 25,000 miles! Yet, this distance is still not the farthest in the sense of importance to an individual and what they do with the life they are given.

What is the greatest, most important distance in the world? It was once said, that the greatest distance in the world is an astounding 18 inches…the distance from a person’s heart to their head. People can have all the knowledge about a particular subject matter in their head and be as smart as the wisest individuals who walk the earth but unless they LIVE it and USE their abilities, it will mean nothing.

Here is a story to illustrate what I am trying to say:

One morning a man was sitting at the breakfast table intently reading the morning paper when his wife came up to him and started to ask him questions about their plans for the upcoming day. The man just sat there, slightly nodding his head and showed no other reactions. Despite numerous attempts to get a conversation with her husband started…he was just too busy reading his paper.

Then the lady had an idea to try and break her husband’s trance from his paper. She said to him in a calm voice, “Honey, there a huge, hairy spider crawling up your sleeve.” The man just sat there, nodded slightly, and continued to read the paper never even giving her a glance.  She tried the same tact a few other times…again, to no avail. Suddenly she screamed, “HONEY! THERE’S A HUGE, HAIRY SPIDER CRAWLING UP YOUR SLEEVE!”  Her husband screamed, jumped up from his seat, threw down his newspaper, and started making moves that a Ninja would be proud of!

You see, the man had HEARD his wife but he didn’t LISTEN. He knew that there was a spider crawling up his arm but he didn’t do anything about it because he was TOO BUSY doing something else. It wasn’t until he took what he KNEW and put it into ACTION that did anything about combating the evil creature.

Many people are like that man who was reading the newspaper. They hear what is going on and KNOW what to do but without putting their knowledge into action, they are no different than anyone else.

One of my favorite slogans in athletics is also so very true in a person’s everyday life: “The difference between an ordinary person and an extraordinary individual, is that little EXTRA.” There are an untold number of people that have great ideas, thoughts, inventions, solutions to the world’s problems, etc., and do actually DO anything about them. They do ACT on their THOUGHTS. A person may have all of the book knowledge of something but if they never actually use it…it is worthless. An individual may know how to build a house, where to place the lumber, the plumbing, the electrical systems, the foundation, etc., but if that person never goes out and physically builds a house…what good is having that knowledge?

So,  I ask you today…are you a THINKER or a DOER? How well are you conquering the greatest distance in the world?

Things People Will Never Learn in School

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Photo Credit: BiblioArchives / LibraryArchives via Flickr

I came across a short article about Microsoft co-founder, Bill Gates, when he spoke to a high school not too long ago. There has been some debate whether or not he actually delivered this speech, but the points here are “right on the money”.   The following eleven points are things that people either did not or will not learn in school. He spoke about how the feel-good, politically correct teachings have created a generation of children who have no concept of reality and how these ideas have set them up for failure in the real world.

Personally, I think that these eleven ideas are very insightful and are things in which, if we are wise enough, can help us to enrich our everyday lives.

————————————

Rule 1: Life isn’t fair…get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough…wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up…it’s not your parents’ fault…so don’t whine about your mistakes…learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they will give you as MANY TIMES you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are, you’ll end up working for one.

The Wonderful World of Albert Einstein

DonkeyHotey
Photo Credit: DonkeyHotey

Albert Einstein, the legendary German physicist is a person that has always fascinated me. This genius who developed the theory of relativity and E=MC2, loved his music, had a remarkable sense of humor, and, surprisingly, valued money very little.

So, I have decided to share with you, a few interesting short stories about him that I think that you will find not only fascinating but also entertaining. They will also give you a little insight and appreciation for one of the smartest men the world has ever known.

————————————-

Albert Einstein used to have a personal driver that drove him to each one of his lectures. During his speeches, his chauffer would sit at the back of the hall and listen to Einstein’s words of wisdom. After a period of time, the driver remarked to the famous researcher that he could probably give the lecture himself because he had heard it so many times.

At the next lecture stop, Einstein and the driver switched places…with Einstein sitting at the back of the room, dressed in the driver’s uniform. The driver gave the lecture flawlessly..

At the end of the lecture, a member of the audience asked a detailed scientific question about some kind of scientific matter. Without missing a beat, the “lecturer” replied, Well, the answer to that question is so simple, I’ll let my driver, sitting at the back there, answer it.”

————————————

When Albert Einstein was in residence at the Institute for Advanced Studies at Princeton during his later years, a guest asked him if Einstein would show him his laboratory.

The famous scientist and mathematician smiled, held up his fountain pen and pointed to his head!

————————————

Money meant very little to the legend, Albert Einstein. When he first joined the Princeton Institute for Advanced Study, he requested a salary so low, officials had to double it to preserve some semblance of institute standards.

He once used a $1,500 check from the Rockefeller Foundation as a bookmark…then lost the book! The foundation’s records were out of kilter for months. When they finally sent a duplicate check, Einstein wrote back, “What’s this for?”

———————————–

Einstein, who thought himself as an accomplished violinist, was rehearsing a Haydn composition with a string quartet.

When Einstein failed for the fourth time to get his entry in the second movement, the group’s cellist looked up and somewhat annoyed and said, “The problem with you, Albert, is that you can’t count.”

———————————–

Einstein was once asked by the press for an explanation of his theory of relativity which would be meaningful to the common, everyday lay person. The scientist then gave a statement to his secretary which read, “An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour.”

Children Say the Funniest Things (Part 2)

woodleywonderworks
Photo Credit: WoodleyWonderWorks via CC Flickr

Welcome to the second installment of “Children Say the Funniest Things.” As I stated in my previous installment, “Children Say the Funniest Things Part One,” I am a Physical Education teacher and have taught children on all levels…from Kindergarten to college. It has always ben one of my favorite things about teaching and fatherhood to listen to what kids say in certain situations or give their answers to…what we as adults think…simple questions.

So, sit back, relax, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and maybe a snack…and get ready to enjoy a giggle, a chuckle, or a good laugh.

A four year old girl was drinking a cup of cold orange juice when she suddenly got the hiccups. “Don’t give me this juice again,” she said. “It makes my teeth cough.”

——————————

A second-grade city school teacher decided to take her class on a trip to a farm. When they returned to school at the end of the day, she asked the children: “What were some of the sounds that you heard on your trip to the farm today?”

“Mooooo”

“Meow!!”

“Quack! Quack!”

“Baaaa!”

“Hey! Get off my tractor!!!”

—————————–

Five-year-old, Deana, asked her Granny how old she was. Her grandmother said that she was so old that she had forgotten her age.

“Well, then, Granny you have to look on the back of your underpants. Mine says five to six.”

—————————-

A nine-year-old daughter walked into her mother’s bedroom as she was getting ready for work.

“What are you doing?,” she asked.

“Putting on my wrinkle cream,” the mother answered.

“Oh,” she said, walking away. “I thought that they were natural.”

—————————

Edith was a five-year-old and she had an earache. She knew where to find the painkillers but she couldn’t open the bottle. She brought the bottle to her mother, who explained that it was a childproof bottle that only adult could open. Eyes wide open with wonder, Edith said, “but how does it know it’s ME?”

————————–

The mother of a three-year-old was surprised to hear him say, “yes, sir,” to her. She explained the “sir” was for men and “ma’ma” for women.

So, what would you say to Daddy?”

“Wes, sir.”

“Very good. And to Mama?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“ And to grandma?”

The little boy’s face lit up as he replied, “Can I have a cookie?”

———————–

A six-year-old girl, Angela, returned home from school and told her mom that they had their first family planning lesson that day. Wondering what it could be about, her mother asks, “How did it go?”

“I was so ashamed!” said the little girl.

“Billy from across the street said that the stork brings babies.” Nancy, our next door neighbor, said that you can buy babies from the orphanage. Johnny said that his little sister was bought in a hospital.”

Laughing and giggling a little bit, her mom said, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed!”

“No, but I couldn’t tell them that we were so poor that you and Daddy had to make me yourselves!”

———————

A teacher gave her second grade class a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day, in a written test, she included the question, “My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up tings. What am I?”

When the test papers were turned in, almost half of the students answered the question with the word…”Mother.”

——————-

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is a bride dressed in white?”

“Because it is the color of happiness,” explained her mother. “And today is the happiest day of her life!”

The child thought of it for a moment, then asked, “Why is the groom wearing black then?”

——————

Teacher: “How old is your father?”

Kid: “He is 6 years old.”

Teacher: “What? How is that possible?”

Kid: “He became a father only when I was born

**Logic: Children are quick and always speak their minds 🙂

——————

Teacher: “Maria, go to the map and find North America.”

Maria: “Here it is.”

Teacher: “Correct. Now class, who discovered America?”

Class: “Maria!”

——————

Teacher: “How do you spell ‘crocodile’?”

Tommy: “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”

Teacher: “No, that’s wrong.”

Tommy: Maybe it is wrong…but you asked me how I spell it.”

—————–

Teacher: “What is the chemical formula for water?”

Kevin: “H I J K L M N O.”

Teacher: “What are you talking about?”

Kevin: “Yesterday you said it was H to O>”

—————-

Teacher: “Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?”

Clyde: “No sir. It’s the same dog.”

(I love this kid! I want to adopt him 🙂

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Last but not least….

Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”

Franklin: “A Teacher.”

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I hope that you enjoyed these short stories. Look for the 3rd installment of  “Children Say the Funniest Things” sometime in the future.

If you have a funny story to share, please feel free to do so!!

Have a WONDERFUL day!

A Giggle for the Day: STRESS!

galeri12uludagsozlukcom
Photo Credit: galeri12.uludagsozluk.com

Everyone needs a little giggle every once in a while…especially under stressful situations. Some situations can cause a great deal of stress while people…who read about that situation can do nothing more than giggle when they read about the poor soul’s situation.

Such is the case of today’s “Giggle of the Day.”

You pick up a hitchhiker… A beautiful girl.
Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and
you take her to the hospital.
Now that’s stressful.

But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and
congratulate you that you’re going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
This is getting very stressful!

You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.

After the tests are completed,
The doctor says the test shows you’re infertile,
And probably have been since birth.
You’re extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home.

The Lesson of the Black Spot

black_spot_on_white_background_by_sukiroseessence-d321hr6

Sometimes, simple illustrations teach us simple but important life lessons…..

One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They waited anxiously at their desks for the test to begin. The professor handed out the question paper, with the text facing down as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked his students to turn the page and begin. To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions….just a black dot in the center of the page. The professor seeing the expression on everyone’s face, told them the following:

“I want you to write what you see there.”

The students confused, got started on the inexplicable task.

At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading each one of them aloud in front of all the students. All of them with no exceptions, described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet, etc. etc. etc. After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor began to explain:

“I am not going to grade on you this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot – and the same happens in our lives. We have a white paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots. Our life is a gift given to us by God, with love and care, and we always have reasons to celebrate – nature renewing itself everyday, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, the miracles we see everyday…….

However we insist on focusing only on the dark spots – the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend etc

The dark spots are very small compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds.

Take your eyes away from the black spots in your life. Enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you.

Be happy and live a life positively!

 

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