Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you had an opportunity to speak with God? What would you say? What would you ask Him for? What would you do? This is an interesting question, right? Well, hopefully, your conversation wouldn’t end up as the following one did!
A man walked to the top of a hill to talk to God.
The man asked, “God, what’s a million years to you?” and God said, “A minute.”
Then the man asked, “Well, what’s a million dollars to you?” and God said, “A penny.”
Then the man asked, “God…..can I have a penny?” and God said, “Sure…..in a minute.”
Hope you enjoyed this cute little story and the smile and giggle that went along with it.
There is nothing better when a person is having a bad day than to laugh and smile. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love to make people laugh and smile. I feel that that is one of my biggest blessings in life. The late Mother Teresa once said, “Let us all meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” It is with that spirit, that I decided to post and few poems that I hope will bring a smile to your face, a moment joy to your heart, and an encouragement to finish your day on a positive note. If one of the following poems have lifted your spirits and have inspired you, feel free to share your blessing with other today!
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Keep on Smiling
~ Poet: Alexandra Skiathitis
If at times you feel you want to cry
And life seems such a trial
Above the clouds there’s a bright blue sky
So make your tears a smile
As you travel on life’s way
With its many ups and downs
Remember it’s quite true to say
One smile is worth a dozen frowns
Among the world’s expensive things
A smile is very cheap
And when you give a smile away
You get one back to keep
Happiness comes at times to all
But sadness comes unbidden
And sometimes a few tears must fall
Among the laughter hidden
So when friends have sadness on their face
And troubles round them piled
The world will seem a better place
And all because you smiled!
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A Smile
~ Poet: Unknown
A smile is cheer to you and me
The cost is nothing-it’s given free
It comforts the weary-gladdens the sad
Consoles those in trouble-good or bad
To rich or poor-beggar or thief
It’s free to all of any belief
A natural gesture of young and old
Cheers on the faint-disarms the bold
Unlike most blessings for which we pray
It’s one thing we keep when we give it away.
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Smile
~ Poet: Charlie Chaplin
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile!
If you would like to hear this poem in a song, CLICK HERE! (sung by Natalie Cole)
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Try Smiling
~ Poet: Unknown
When the weather suits you not, Try smiling.
When your coffee isn’t hot, Try smiling.
When your neighbors don’t do right,
Or all of your relatives fight,
Sure ‘tis hard, but you might Try smiling.
Doesn’t change the things, of course-Just smiling.
But it cannot make them worse-Just smiling
And it seems to help your case,
Brightens up a gloomy place,
Then, it sort o’ rests your face-Just smiling.
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Gladness Every Morning
~ Poet: Nixon Waterman
Touch your lips with gladness and go singing on your way,
Smiles will strangely lighten every duty;
Just a little word of cheer may span a sky of gray
With hope’s own heaven-tinted bow of beauty.
Wear a pleasant face wherein shall shine a joyful heart,
As shines the sun, the happy fields adorning;
To every care-beclouded life some ray of light impart,
And touch your lips with gladness every morning.
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A Face Without A Smile
~Poet: Unknown
Like a bread without the spreadin’,
Like a mattress without a beddin’,
Like a cart without a hoss,
Like a door without a latchspring,
Like a dry an’ barren creed bed-
Is the face without a smile
Like a house without a dooryard,
Like a clock without a mainspring,
That will never tell the hour;
A thing that sort o’ makes yo’ feel
A hunger all the while-
Oh, the saddest sight that ever was
Is a face without a smile!
The face of man was built for smiles,
An’ thereby he is blest
Above the critters of the field,
The birds an’ all the rest;
He’s just a little lower
Than the angels in the skies,
An’ the reason is that he can smile;
Therein the glory lies!
So smile an’ don’t forget to smile,
An’ smile, an’ smile ag’in
‘Twill help you all along the way,
An’ cheer you mile and mile;
An’ so, whatever is your lot,
Jes’ smile, an’ smile, an’ smile!
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“So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected, let’s start an epidemic quick…and get the world infected!” ~ Russel H. Conwell
It really is unbelievable…in February, 2013, I decided to create a blog for something that I enjoy doing…simply put, to make people feel good about themselves, laugh, and give them stories, anecdotes, pictures, and ideas that would bring a kind of joy to their soul.
I remember the first day that I posted my first blog and discovered that a whopping 8 people had visited my site. At the time, thinking that my blog would ever have over 1,000,000 viewers never dawned on me. Little did I know that in the past two years, during the month of May, I have had 500,00+ visitors!
The number of viewers doesn’t really interest me…it is the opportunity to uplift and encourage as many individuals that I can through the “Good Time Stories” blog. It is my hope that I can continue to find and create short heartwarming and inspirational stories enrich and deepen a person’s level of self-worth and confidence.
Have a wonderful day and I challenge you…try to find as many people today to encourage by a spoken word, loving touch, or in some other way that you see fit.
Welcome to the second installment of “Children Say the Funniest Things.” As I stated in my previous installment, “Children Say the Funniest Things Part One,” I am a Physical Education teacher and have taught children on all levels…from Kindergarten to college. It has always ben one of my favorite things about teaching and fatherhood to listen to what kids say in certain situations or give their answers to…what we as adults think…simple questions.
So, sit back, relax, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and maybe a snack…and get ready to enjoy a giggle, a chuckle, or a good laugh.
A four year old girl was drinking a cup of cold orange juice when she suddenly got the hiccups. “Don’t give me this juice again,” she said. “It makes my teeth cough.”
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A second-grade city school teacher decided to take her class on a trip to a farm. When they returned to school at the end of the day, she asked the children: “What were some of the sounds that you heard on your trip to the farm today?”
“Mooooo”
“Meow!!”
“Quack! Quack!”
“Baaaa!”
“Hey! Get off my tractor!!!”
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Five-year-old, Deana, asked her Granny how old she was. Her grandmother said that she was so old that she had forgotten her age.
“Well, then, Granny you have to look on the back of your underpants. Mine says five to six.”
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A nine-year-old daughter walked into her mother’s bedroom as she was getting ready for work.
“What are you doing?,” she asked.
“Putting on my wrinkle cream,” the mother answered.
“Oh,” she said, walking away. “I thought that they were natural.”
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Edith was a five-year-old and she had an earache. She knew where to find the painkillers but she couldn’t open the bottle. She brought the bottle to her mother, who explained that it was a childproof bottle that only adult could open. Eyes wide open with wonder, Edith said, “but how does it know it’s ME?”
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The mother of a three-year-old was surprised to hear him say, “yes, sir,” to her. She explained the “sir” was for men and “ma’ma” for women.
So, what would you say to Daddy?”
“Wes, sir.”
“Very good. And to Mama?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“ And to grandma?”
The little boy’s face lit up as he replied, “Can I have a cookie?”
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A six-year-old girl, Angela, returned home from school and told her mom that they had their first family planning lesson that day. Wondering what it could be about, her mother asks, “How did it go?”
“I was so ashamed!” said the little girl.
“Billy from across the street said that the stork brings babies.” Nancy, our next door neighbor, said that you can buy babies from the orphanage. Johnny said that his little sister was bought in a hospital.”
Laughing and giggling a little bit, her mom said, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed!”
“No, but I couldn’t tell them that we were so poor that you and Daddy had to make me yourselves!”
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A teacher gave her second grade class a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day, in a written test, she included the question, “My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up tings. What am I?”
When the test papers were turned in, almost half of the students answered the question with the word…”Mother.”
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is a bride dressed in white?”
“Because it is the color of happiness,” explained her mother. “And today is the happiest day of her life!”
The child thought of it for a moment, then asked, “Why is the groom wearing black then?”
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Teacher: “How old is your father?”
Kid: “He is 6 years old.”
Teacher: “What? How is that possible?”
Kid: “He became a father only when I was born
**Logic: Children are quick and always speak their minds 🙂
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Teacher: “Maria, go to the map and find North America.”
Maria: “Here it is.”
Teacher: “Correct. Now class, who discovered America?”
Class: “Maria!”
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Teacher: “How do you spell ‘crocodile’?”
Tommy: “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”
Teacher: “No, that’s wrong.”
Tommy: Maybe it is wrong…but you asked me how I spell it.”
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Teacher: “What is the chemical formula for water?”
Kevin: “H I J K L M N O.”
Teacher: “What are you talking about?”
Kevin: “Yesterday you said it was H to O>”
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Teacher: “Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?”
Clyde: “No sir. It’s the same dog.”
(I love this kid! I want to adopt him 🙂
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Last but not least….
Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Franklin: “A Teacher.”
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I hope that you enjoyed these short stories. Look for the 3rd installment of “Children Say the Funniest Things” sometime in the future.
If you have a funny story to share, please feel free to do so!!
Most of you who have been following my blog over the years, know that I am a Physical Education/Health teacher and a coach and have loved my job throughout the past 31 years. The one constant during those years have been the joy and excitement that I receive from my students. Their passion, zeal, and enthusiasm about life is contagious. This kind of positive atmosphere usually always uplifts my spirits, enlightens my soul, makes me smile. Every day of school is a new adventure..you never know what is going to happen…what will be said or what will be done by these young people. Usually, the younger they are, the funnier things happen.
So, it should be no surprise, that one of the things that I enjoy posting from time-to-time are some of the silly, hilarious, and downright goofy things that kids do…and sometimes teach us. Such is the case with today’s article. The following is a collection of some of these kinds of things. I hope that these bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your heart. Hey! You may even learn some things about ceiling fans today as well 🙂
Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. …
Super glue is forever. …
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
DVD players do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. …
You probably do not want to know what that odor is. …
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Orlando, FL has an 8 minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. …
A 3 year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. …
When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late. …
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. …
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape….
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. …
You should not throw baseballs up in the air when the ceiling fan is on. …
When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
There is absolutely nothing in the world heartwarming, precious and has the ability to bring a smile to a face than watching the innocent love and joy of a child and their pet. Just look at the enjoyment, contentment, and adoration of this little girl.
There is nothing more precious than seeing the pure innocence and joy of a youngster. This photo is a terrific image of a little toddler enjoying his furry little friend.
It really does make you think what people would be like…as they get older…if they still had this kind of total happiness and joy throughout their lives. It just goes to show us once again, the importance of taking the time to enjoy the little things in life, staying focused on the positive, learn from the negative, and ALWAYS be thankful!
Remember: NO ONE IS IN CHARGE OF YOUR HAPPINESS EXCEPT FOR YOU!!!
Everyone needs a little giggle every once in a while…especially under stressful situations. Some situations can cause a great deal of stress while people…who read about that situation can do nothing more than giggle when they read about the poor soul’s situation.
Such is the case of today’s “Giggle of the Day.”
You pick up a hitchhiker… A beautiful girl.
Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and
you take her to the hospital.
Now that’s stressful.
But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and
congratulate you that you’re going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
This is getting very stressful!
You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.
After the tests are completed,
The doctor says the test shows you’re infertile,
And probably have been since birth.
You’re extremely stressed but relieved.
On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home.
I love children. I have been a Physical Education teacher for 30 years and throughout that time, I have heard many, many funny things. So, today, I am going to share some of those innocent but amusing things that children say…not only to me, but to others as well.
During a recess that I was supervising one day, a little third grade girl came up to me and asked, “What do yo want to be when you grow up?”
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Grandma: “LJ (little James), you did a great job staying in bed at grandma’s house last night.”
LJ: “Well, I did get up one time, grandma.”
Grandma: “Really?”
LJ: Yes, because I picked a booger with my finger and I needed my flashlight so nI cold look at it.”
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A seven-year-old says, “I am not an oxymoron!”
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A 6-year-old watched his dad tap the walls searching for support beams to hang his pictures. “Daddy, there is no one in there.”
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Told to make up her mind, a little girl asks, “How do you put makeup on your mind?”
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A 7-year-old boy to his 3-year-old sister: “Tell me when you are asleep, okay?”
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“How is that going to work?” asks a new kindergartner, upon being told to hold up two fingers if he had to go to the bathroom.
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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s computer. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “I can’t read.”
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One day day a little girl was standing next to me and stroking my eyebrow with her finger. When I asked what she was doing she said, “I’m your eyebrow petter.”
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One day, after one of my Physical Education classes, the entire class got into a line behind a water fountain to get a drink. Suddenly, a little boy came up to me and asked, “Can I go to the nurse?” I asked him, “Nurse? Why? Why do you want to go and see her?” The boy replied, “I don’t know. Billy cut in line in front of me. When I told my friend Bobby that Billy cut me, he told me to go and see the nurse.”
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A 3-year-old after being told that her shoes were on the wrong feet: “Don’t be silly, Mommy. I know they’re my feet.”
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A friend of mine was resting during a family party when her niece came in to check on her. She told her that she didn’t feel well, that she had bad cramps. She then went outside and announced to everyone that “Aunt Kim doesn’t want to come to the party because she has CRABS, really bad ones!”
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A little 4-year-old boy brought over his new puppy to his grandparents house one day. His grandma started scolding her cat because it kept hissing at the puppy. The little boy asked quizzically, “Why are you talking to the cat? They can’t talk!” A few minutes later, the small child started talking to his puppy, his grandma asked him, “Why are yo talking to your dog? They can’t talk?” The little boy replied, “I know grandma, but they are good listeners!”
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A 3-year-old came inside and announced “I peed outside.” He was asked if his underwear was wet and my son proudly replied, “Nope, I peed on Luna. It was like a shower for her.”
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One day a 4-year-old was upstairs and yelled, “ouch!” When he asked what happened he yelled down to me, “I stubbed my toe! The one that ate roast beef!”.
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After getting in trouble for something a little boy said, “I’m only 5—I don’t know all the rules yet!”
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Grandma: “Levi, if you were making a sandwich, what wold you pt on it?”
Levi: “Meat, cheese and ketchup…on a bun.”
Grandma: “Wold you call that a ‘Levi Sandwich’?”
Levi: No, you silly, I call it a cheeseburger!”
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If you have any funny things that children have said to you, please feel free to share them, I might use them in a future post! Have a WONDERFUL day!!
Photo Credit: Gary Knight via CC FLickr: Going for a walk down East Street.
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money – fifty thousand dollars!
Jerry said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said, “No.”
Jerry said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
There is nothing more precious and heartwarming than seeing pictures of little children with their pets There is a special relationship between humans and their pets…even more so with kids. So, without further ado, I will post some pictures of these touching relationships thst will certainly bring a song to your soul and a smile to your face.
Many people today have created a Bucket List. A Bucket List is a register of things that a person would like to do before the die. The list can be anything…ranging from something simple to a desire to accomplish that might be almost impossible to complete.
Such is the case of Ed, husband of his lifelong sweetheart, his wife, Norma….
Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year, and every year Ed would say, ” Norma, I’d like to ride in that helicopter “
Norma always replied, “I know Ed , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
and fifty bucks is fifty bucks! ”
One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said, “Norma, I’m 75 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance”
To this, Norma replied, “Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks”
The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.”
Ed and Norma agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,
But still not a word…
When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed! ”
Ed replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Norma fell out, but you know…fifty bucks is fifty bucks! ”
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Hope this comical story made you giggle!! Have a great day!!!
Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl…
Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry it towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
At this point, the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “Power-Wash” and “Rinse”.
Have someone open the front door of your home. For the safety of everyone around, be sure that these are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift the lid.
The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
Good news!! Both the cat and the toilet will be sparkling clean!!
Yours Sincerely,
The Dog
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I hope these directions brought a little smile to your face, a giggle to your heart, and laughter to your soul!!!
Everybody needs a giggle or a chuckle at least once a day…today is no different. I hope that the following little story brings a smile to your face and a little joy to your heart.
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’
I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a
demonstration?’
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’
Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’
The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.’
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.
But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.
‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he
could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about
it!’
Have you ever REALLY wondered why the Chicken crossed the road? Well the following answers are from famous people around the world. You will be enjoy reading there answers. Read them to find out what they are!
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GEORGE W. BUSH
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq’s former ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RALPH NADER
The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer’s market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. That’s what they call it — the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook – and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
There is simply nothing better in the world than enjoying that cool, sweet, delightful treat…ICE CREAM!! This tasty food has a magic of its own…for it can create the biggest smile on the saddest face, bring happiness to a sour soul and bring out the little kid in all of us. Today’s picture of these two joyful little boys says it all….Ice cream is tasty, ice cream is fun, and you can share it with a buddy anytime you want!! Having a bad day? Have some ICE CREAM and a smile today!
There is nothing more adorable in the world and nothing that can put a smile on your face quicker, then watching a little child becomes the person of their dreams. Such is the case with my little angel, who is one of my nieces when she got a Tinkerbell outfit for her birthday…yes, she also thought she was a queen!
So, are you having a bad day today? Take some time to do something for other people…to make them smile…to make them happy…to make them laugh…it’s contagious because it will make you feel the same!!
The following story is a cute little story that was shared with me by my buddy Gherlaine…
A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco Texas.
When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Austin Texas to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn’t want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn’t give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car. A drunken good old boy from central Texas got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper’s car, opened the rear door and got in.
The trooper observed him and went over to the State car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain’t no way I can pass that test.”
Hope this silly story brought a smile to your face. Have a great day and share your smile to someone else today!!
If you have any humorous or heartwarming stories that you would like to share, please send them to me or let me know! 🙂
Everyone needs a giggle and a smile…at least once a week…so, here is a good giggle for you!
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a bar stool.
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke ?”
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6’tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister.
You still wanna tell that joke?” The blind guy think a moment and says, (scroll on down…..)
“Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.
‘Yes’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he’s watching you.’
The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’
‘Moses,’ replied the bird.
‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
‘The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’
If Monday’s just aren’t your thing and you need a good “pick me up” for the start of your week, then this video is just for you!! Enjoy some laughs, giggles and fun…and start your week with a SMILE!!!
