In today’s world, amidst all of the depressing news and the negative climate, I think it is good for a person to have at least one laugh, giggle, or smile every day. So, without further ado…here’s a little story:
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping on the wilderness. After they got their tent set up, both men fell into a deep, restful sleep after a long day on the trail. Some hours later, Tonto wakes up the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look towards sky…what you see?
The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically-speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems like we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Tonto?
“You dumber than buffalo…it means someone stole tent.”
Smiles and happiness are SO good for the heart and soul. It is great medicine a person. The following thoughts are fabulous reminders as to why a smile is so important. So, take time every day to laugh, giggle, or smile. A smile is not only good for yourself but an encouragement to others!
A smile costs nothing, but gives much.
It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he can be made rich by it.
A Smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile;
Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
I came across this story a short time ago that I thought would be an interesting thing to share.
A Public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule, and a calculator. At a press conference just before noon today, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. Although he did not identify the man, he confirmed the man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
“Al-Gebra is a problem for us”, the Attorney General said. “They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.” They use secret names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.” The Attorney General went onto say “teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous and puts our government at risk.
Sometimes, there is nothing better than a good story about animals. Mix the story with a little humor and good old-fashioned Faith…and you will have a story that will bring a smile to your face and maybe even a little giggle or laugh.
Today is an entertaining little tale that I think that you will enjoy.
It’s a Miracle Kitten from Heaven story. What could be more fun than a little girl wanting a kitty cat? And what if she prayed really hard for God to send a kitty to her from heaven? And what if God answered her prayer immediately? When A Child Prays, Their Faith is Strong and Alive, Expecting an Answer. Read on . . .
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about a pastor. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard, and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and grasp the kitten.
He did all this, kept getting out to check, then figured if he went just a little bit farther, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a little farther forward… the rope broke.
The tree went *Boing!* and the kitten instantly sailed through the air- out of sight. The pastor felt very bad. He walked all over the neighborhood, asking people if they’d seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a kitten. So he prayed, “Lord, I just commit this kitten to Your keeping,” and went on about his business.
A few days later, he was at the grocery store, and he met Melissa Jefferson, one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart, and he was amazed to see cat food. Knowing she hated cats, he asked her, “Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?” She replied, “You won’t believe this,” and told him how her little girl Meghan had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the girl had begged again, and so the Mom finally told her little girl, “Well, if God gives you a cat from heaven, I’ll let you keep it.”
You can guess the rest. She told the pastor, “I watched my little girl go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a kitty cat. And really, Pastor, you won’t believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws spread out, and landed right in front of her.
I’ve always wondered if he told her what really happened.
I recently came across the following guidelines that I think was a very interesting and helpful tool for all the men out there around the world who are involved with relationships with their wives, girlfriends, or other loved ones. Speaking as a man, there are many times that I wish that I had a simple guide to follow, and now I do! So, out of the goodness of my heart, I will share these principles with you. Enjoy.
A Man’s Guide to Lasting Relationships
Find a woman who makes you laugh.
Find a woman who has a job and loves housework.
Find a woman who is honest.
Find a woman who will wait on you hand and foot.
Find a woman who is awesome in the bedroom.
Most importantly of all, and it is very important…make sure that these five women never meet!!
PS This is a “tongue in cheek” guide folks…or is it? 🙂
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you had an opportunity to speak with God? What would you say? What would you ask Him for? What would you do? This is an interesting question, right? Well, hopefully, your conversation wouldn’t end up as the following one did!
A man walked to the top of a hill to talk to God.
The man asked, “God, what’s a million years to you?” and God said, “A minute.”
Then the man asked, “Well, what’s a million dollars to you?” and God said, “A penny.”
Then the man asked, “God…..can I have a penny?” and God said, “Sure…..in a minute.”
Hope you enjoyed this cute little story and the smile and giggle that went along with it.
There is nothing better when a person is having a bad day than to laugh and smile. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love to make people laugh and smile. I feel that that is one of my biggest blessings in life. The late Mother Teresa once said, “Let us all meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” It is with that spirit, that I decided to post and few poems that I hope will bring a smile to your face, a moment joy to your heart, and an encouragement to finish your day on a positive note. If one of the following poems have lifted your spirits and have inspired you, feel free to share your blessing with other today!
————————
Keep on Smiling
~ Poet: Alexandra Skiathitis
If at times you feel you want to cry
And life seems such a trial
Above the clouds there’s a bright blue sky
So make your tears a smile
As you travel on life’s way
With its many ups and downs
Remember it’s quite true to say
One smile is worth a dozen frowns
Among the world’s expensive things
A smile is very cheap
And when you give a smile away
You get one back to keep
Happiness comes at times to all
But sadness comes unbidden
And sometimes a few tears must fall
Among the laughter hidden
So when friends have sadness on their face
And troubles round them piled
The world will seem a better place
And all because you smiled!
——————–
A Smile
~ Poet: Unknown
A smile is cheer to you and me
The cost is nothing-it’s given free
It comforts the weary-gladdens the sad
Consoles those in trouble-good or bad
To rich or poor-beggar or thief
It’s free to all of any belief
A natural gesture of young and old
Cheers on the faint-disarms the bold
Unlike most blessings for which we pray
It’s one thing we keep when we give it away.
——————-
Smile
~ Poet: Charlie Chaplin
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile!
If you would like to hear this poem in a song, CLICK HERE! (sung by Natalie Cole)
——————–
Try Smiling
~ Poet: Unknown
When the weather suits you not, Try smiling.
When your coffee isn’t hot, Try smiling.
When your neighbors don’t do right,
Or all of your relatives fight,
Sure ‘tis hard, but you might Try smiling.
Doesn’t change the things, of course-Just smiling.
But it cannot make them worse-Just smiling
And it seems to help your case,
Brightens up a gloomy place,
Then, it sort o’ rests your face-Just smiling.
——————–
Gladness Every Morning
~ Poet: Nixon Waterman
Touch your lips with gladness and go singing on your way,
Smiles will strangely lighten every duty;
Just a little word of cheer may span a sky of gray
With hope’s own heaven-tinted bow of beauty.
Wear a pleasant face wherein shall shine a joyful heart,
As shines the sun, the happy fields adorning;
To every care-beclouded life some ray of light impart,
And touch your lips with gladness every morning.
——————-
A Face Without A Smile
~Poet: Unknown
Like a bread without the spreadin’,
Like a mattress without a beddin’,
Like a cart without a hoss,
Like a door without a latchspring,
Like a dry an’ barren creed bed-
Is the face without a smile
Like a house without a dooryard,
Like a clock without a mainspring,
That will never tell the hour;
A thing that sort o’ makes yo’ feel
A hunger all the while-
Oh, the saddest sight that ever was
Is a face without a smile!
The face of man was built for smiles,
An’ thereby he is blest
Above the critters of the field,
The birds an’ all the rest;
He’s just a little lower
Than the angels in the skies,
An’ the reason is that he can smile;
Therein the glory lies!
So smile an’ don’t forget to smile,
An’ smile, an’ smile ag’in
‘Twill help you all along the way,
An’ cheer you mile and mile;
An’ so, whatever is your lot,
Jes’ smile, an’ smile, an’ smile!
———————-
“So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected, let’s start an epidemic quick…and get the world infected!” ~ Russel H. Conwell
It really is unbelievable…in February, 2013, I decided to create a blog for something that I enjoy doing…simply put, to make people feel good about themselves, laugh, and give them stories, anecdotes, pictures, and ideas that would bring a kind of joy to their soul.
I remember the first day that I posted my first blog and discovered that a whopping 8 people had visited my site. At the time, thinking that my blog would ever have over 1,000,000 viewers never dawned on me. Little did I know that in the past two years, during the month of May, I have had 500,00+ visitors!
The number of viewers doesn’t really interest me…it is the opportunity to uplift and encourage as many individuals that I can through the “Good Time Stories” blog. It is my hope that I can continue to find and create short heartwarming and inspirational stories enrich and deepen a person’s level of self-worth and confidence.
Have a wonderful day and I challenge you…try to find as many people today to encourage by a spoken word, loving touch, or in some other way that you see fit.
Welcome to the second installment of “Children Say the Funniest Things.” As I stated in my previous installment, “Children Say the Funniest Things Part One,” I am a Physical Education teacher and have taught children on all levels…from Kindergarten to college. It has always ben one of my favorite things about teaching and fatherhood to listen to what kids say in certain situations or give their answers to…what we as adults think…simple questions.
So, sit back, relax, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and maybe a snack…and get ready to enjoy a giggle, a chuckle, or a good laugh.
A four year old girl was drinking a cup of cold orange juice when she suddenly got the hiccups. “Don’t give me this juice again,” she said. “It makes my teeth cough.”
——————————
A second-grade city school teacher decided to take her class on a trip to a farm. When they returned to school at the end of the day, she asked the children: “What were some of the sounds that you heard on your trip to the farm today?”
“Mooooo”
“Meow!!”
“Quack! Quack!”
“Baaaa!”
“Hey! Get off my tractor!!!”
—————————–
Five-year-old, Deana, asked her Granny how old she was. Her grandmother said that she was so old that she had forgotten her age.
“Well, then, Granny you have to look on the back of your underpants. Mine says five to six.”
—————————-
A nine-year-old daughter walked into her mother’s bedroom as she was getting ready for work.
“What are you doing?,” she asked.
“Putting on my wrinkle cream,” the mother answered.
“Oh,” she said, walking away. “I thought that they were natural.”
—————————
Edith was a five-year-old and she had an earache. She knew where to find the painkillers but she couldn’t open the bottle. She brought the bottle to her mother, who explained that it was a childproof bottle that only adult could open. Eyes wide open with wonder, Edith said, “but how does it know it’s ME?”
————————–
The mother of a three-year-old was surprised to hear him say, “yes, sir,” to her. She explained the “sir” was for men and “ma’ma” for women.
So, what would you say to Daddy?”
“Wes, sir.”
“Very good. And to Mama?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“ And to grandma?”
The little boy’s face lit up as he replied, “Can I have a cookie?”
———————–
A six-year-old girl, Angela, returned home from school and told her mom that they had their first family planning lesson that day. Wondering what it could be about, her mother asks, “How did it go?”
“I was so ashamed!” said the little girl.
“Billy from across the street said that the stork brings babies.” Nancy, our next door neighbor, said that you can buy babies from the orphanage. Johnny said that his little sister was bought in a hospital.”
Laughing and giggling a little bit, her mom said, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed!”
“No, but I couldn’t tell them that we were so poor that you and Daddy had to make me yourselves!”
———————
A teacher gave her second grade class a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day, in a written test, she included the question, “My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up tings. What am I?”
When the test papers were turned in, almost half of the students answered the question with the word…”Mother.”
——————-
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is a bride dressed in white?”
“Because it is the color of happiness,” explained her mother. “And today is the happiest day of her life!”
The child thought of it for a moment, then asked, “Why is the groom wearing black then?”
——————
Teacher: “How old is your father?”
Kid: “He is 6 years old.”
Teacher: “What? How is that possible?”
Kid: “He became a father only when I was born
**Logic: Children are quick and always speak their minds 🙂
——————
Teacher: “Maria, go to the map and find North America.”
Maria: “Here it is.”
Teacher: “Correct. Now class, who discovered America?”
Class: “Maria!”
——————
Teacher: “How do you spell ‘crocodile’?”
Tommy: “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”
Teacher: “No, that’s wrong.”
Tommy: Maybe it is wrong…but you asked me how I spell it.”
—————–
Teacher: “What is the chemical formula for water?”
Kevin: “H I J K L M N O.”
Teacher: “What are you talking about?”
Kevin: “Yesterday you said it was H to O>”
—————-
Teacher: “Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?”
Clyde: “No sir. It’s the same dog.”
(I love this kid! I want to adopt him 🙂
—————
Last but not least….
Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Franklin: “A Teacher.”
————–
I hope that you enjoyed these short stories. Look for the 3rd installment of “Children Say the Funniest Things” sometime in the future.
If you have a funny story to share, please feel free to do so!!
Most of you who have been following my blog over the years, know that I am a Physical Education/Health teacher and a coach and have loved my job throughout the past 31 years. The one constant during those years have been the joy and excitement that I receive from my students. Their passion, zeal, and enthusiasm about life is contagious. This kind of positive atmosphere usually always uplifts my spirits, enlightens my soul, makes me smile. Every day of school is a new adventure..you never know what is going to happen…what will be said or what will be done by these young people. Usually, the younger they are, the funnier things happen.
So, it should be no surprise, that one of the things that I enjoy posting from time-to-time are some of the silly, hilarious, and downright goofy things that kids do…and sometimes teach us. Such is the case with today’s article. The following is a collection of some of these kinds of things. I hope that these bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your heart. Hey! You may even learn some things about ceiling fans today as well 🙂
Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. …
Super glue is forever. …
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
DVD players do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. …
You probably do not want to know what that odor is. …
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Orlando, FL has an 8 minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. …
A 3 year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. …
When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late. …
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. …
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape….
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. …
You should not throw baseballs up in the air when the ceiling fan is on. …
When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
There is absolutely nothing in the world heartwarming, precious and has the ability to bring a smile to a face than watching the innocent love and joy of a child and their pet. Just look at the enjoyment, contentment, and adoration of this little girl.
