The following little ditty might make you scratch your head but also might bring a smile to your face.
This is a story about four people named: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
In today’s world, amidst all of the depressing news and the negative climate, I think it is good for a person to have at least one laugh, giggle, or smile every day. So, without further ado…here’s a little story:
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping on the wilderness. After they got their tent set up, both men fell into a deep, restful sleep after a long day on the trail. Some hours later, Tonto wakes up the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look towards sky…what you see?
The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically-speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems like we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Tonto?
“You dumber than buffalo…it means someone stole tent.”
Are you having a lousy day and need something to make you smile? Then today’s little story is just for you!
Enjoy!
A woman was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane …
Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney.
The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind.
A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, ‘Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?’
The blind lady replied, ‘No thanks, but maybe Max would Like to stretch his legs.’
Now Picture This:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!
The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
People scattered.
They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
The following is a great “wish list” that I think a lot of women (even men) would probably like to be some day. But for now, I hope that you enjoy the following humorous dream than a lady once wrote…
In this life, I am a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you are a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When you are a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that!
If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows that you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excessive body fat.
Nobody likes a mess! Dirty laundry, dusty shelves, unkept rooms, filthy floors, greasy dishes, dungy basements, smudged windows, smelly garbage cans, the list can go on and on. Unfortunately, and we all have to do it, we need to put on our working shoes, roll up our sleeves, and get to work to clean up these messes.
Today, I am sharing a story contributed by my friend, Charlene, author of the website, “Boot-camp Has Chandeliers”. in which she shares an enjoyable little tale of a mundane job, that most of us have done at some point of our lives, and describes the chore to us in an amusing way.
I would like to encourage you to visit her site and read other contributions that she has written. I am sure that you will like some of her other writings as well.
Here we go…
Clean the Refrigerator Day!
Don’t ya just dislike cleaning a refrigerator? Don’t ya wish they would be self-
cleaning; wouldn’t ya think someone would have come up with that by now?
Ya know, I don’t remember if Mom taught me how to clean one or if I am self-
taught. I just know that I pretty much follow a routine and do not use chemicals
to do so.
The first thing that I do is “dress for it” like putting grubby clothes on cause I know
I’m going to get dirty more or less and I just don’t like it. Anyway, then I put my
hair up so it doesn’t get in my face and head to the kitchen.
I grab a bundle of paper towels, a couple of scrubbers that don’t scratch
anything but do the job; my trusty Mr. Clean thingys (I know… that is probably
not a word, but anyway….I just love those things because they do a wonderful
job on just about anything!) Then I put the stopper in the sink and run hot water
with Dawn, using a couple of cap-fulls of Vinegar in the water and I’m ready. I
am prepared to sit on a chair if I have to for some of those sections because
getting on my knees is very uncomfortable and at the bottom sections; yup, I sit
on the floor.
I think I watched Mom once just empty the whole “refrige” at once; I don’t do
that, I do little areas at a time….I know, maybe it sounds like it will take forever
but there is really a method to my madness. I just do it in sections; remove the
stuff that’s in that particular section and depending on how bad it is I might just
take the paper towel and dampen it to get surface stuff up first and do the inside
of the doors. Those are the easier areas as surfaces go. I gotta remove all the stuff
in the door and if it’s there more than a year and marked that way, I just toss it.
If I can liquefy anything and put it down the disposal I do that and then throw
away the container.
The yuckiest part is the cleaning the trays and crispers; right? You know what
those are…..ewwww! I won’t go into detail cause you might get sick but…..those
“have” to come out and soak! Then I have to stick my head in those hard to
reach areas and get the crud out of there. Oh, I hate doing that (who designed
these things anyway?) This is the most difficult area to reach! The trays and
crispers are soaking while I do this part and I can’t wait to get to the higher
places so I don’t have to bend over so much; get my drift?
Now, what I have also been doing is wiping off those bottles, jars, food containers
that I keep and taking everything sticky off of them, make sense? What good is a
clean and fresh fridge if containers are yucky?
Ok; I’m just about done, it’s getting easier and the trays and crispers are back in
place and the bottom and middle parts are done; just have the top…..whew! The
hard part is over; to my thinking anyway. Just a few more things to put in place
keeping everything neat and tidy as I go. I look at the clock…..it just took me two
and a half hours to do this, wow! I don’t know what the standard is but I’m
thinking “not too bad.”
So; that is what I did today my fellow travelers. Did you enjoy your little
adventure with me? Are you as tired as I am? Time for a little snack so I will
finish off with a Klondike bar while a sit and relax. Oh yes, I still listen for the
Father’s voice but I think He was enjoying this because He knows there are no
refrigerators in Heaven…..LOL! I think I can hear Him chuckle…….till next
time…..
Have a wonderful day and share a smile with someone!
**If you have a story or an anecdote that you would like to contribute, please send them my way or LMK…IT’S FREE ADVERTSING!
I came across this story a short time ago that I thought would be an interesting thing to share.
A Public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule, and a calculator. At a press conference just before noon today, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. Although he did not identify the man, he confirmed the man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
“Al-Gebra is a problem for us”, the Attorney General said. “They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.” They use secret names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.” The Attorney General went onto say “teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous and puts our government at risk.
Have you ever wanted the opportunity to get free publicity for your site and have the chance to have your blog shared with other people…for free? Well, I have great news…here is your opportunity!!!
As some of you already know, I enjoy finding stories that inspire, encourage, motivate, or uplift people. There is nothing better than sharing a good story with others…there is enough garbage and bad news going on in the world today. What people REALLY want is to hear uplifting, good-news stories.
So, I am asking anyone who may be interested in sharing a story (or two) of something or someone that you think would be an encouragement or inspiration to others, to send them to me, Once I receive them (and approve them), I will post your story and give your site exposure and publicity to my readers and other visitors…FOR FREE!
Once again, they should be stories that are funny, inspirational, motivational, encouraging, anecdotes, stories that teach morals, etc.
I recently came across the following guidelines that I think was a very interesting and helpful tool for all the men out there around the world who are involved with relationships with their wives, girlfriends, or other loved ones. Speaking as a man, there are many times that I wish that I had a simple guide to follow, and now I do! So, out of the goodness of my heart, I will share these principles with you. Enjoy.
A Man’s Guide to Lasting Relationships
Find a woman who makes you laugh.
Find a woman who has a job and loves housework.
Find a woman who is honest.
Find a woman who will wait on you hand and foot.
Find a woman who is awesome in the bedroom.
Most importantly of all, and it is very important…make sure that these five women never meet!!
PS This is a “tongue in cheek” guide folks…or is it? 🙂
The annual celebration of New Year’s Eve is one of my favorite times of the year. It is during this time that we reminisce about the past year and, at the same time, look ahead, plan, and make resolutions for the future. Millions and millions of people around the world take part in the festivities and revelry as they welcome in the New Year.
As with many of the holidays that we have throughout the year, I always find it very interesting and enjoyable to find some history and fun facts about each day. This holiday is no different. So, I decided to share some interesting facts with you about the celebration of New Year and some other intriguing things…so…here we go.
Interesting Things That Are Dropped New Year’s Eve
Most people from around the world, know that every year, New York City welcomes in the New Year in Times Square, by dropping a big “ball” which gradually descends from the top of a pole to the bottom, where it rests while all kinds of lights blink and shine as the new year begins. It all started in 1907 after there was a fireworks ban. In 1907, the iron and wood ball weighed 700-pounds and was covered with 25-watt bulbs made of iron. Today, it weighs 11,875 pounds, is 12 feet in diameter and is adorned with 2,668 Waterford crystals. Meanwhile, close to a million people in the square, dance, party, hug and kiss, and have a good time at this joyous moment. Around the world, approximately 1 billion people watch world-wide festivities from their televisions or computers.
But are there other things that are dropped in celebration of New Year’s instead of a giant ball? You bet there is!!! Here are some remarkable objects that are “dropped.” So, without further ado, here are some things from around the United States that I think you will find entertaining.
In Brookville, Florida, a giant tangerine was dropped 40 feet in 2009.
In Traverse, Michigan, a cherry is dropped.
In Flagstaff, Arizona, a pine cone is dropped from a hotel.
In Prescott, Arizona, a boot is dropped
In South Lake, California, a gondola is lowered.
In Temecula, California, a bunch of grapes is dropped.
In Niagara Falls, Ontario, a 10 foot guitar is dropped from a specially designed 120-foot scaffold at the Hard Rock Café.
In Easton, Maryland, a red crab is dropped.
In Lebanon, Pennsylvania, a 100-pound stick of bologna is dropped.
In Easton, Pennsylvania, and giant M&M is dropped
In St. George’s, Bermuda, a paper-Mache Bermuda onion covered with Christmas lights is dropped.
In Black Creek, North Carolina, a large red heart drop is lowered.
In Eastover, North Carolina, a three-foot-tall, thirty-pound flea is dropped.
In Elmore, Ohio, a sausage is dropped.
In Cincinnati, Ohio, a flying pig is “flown”, not dropped, demonstrating to everyone that there is at least one occasion “when pigs fly.”
In Red Lion, Pennsylvania. A wooden cigar held by a lion is raised.
In Panama City, Florida, an 800-pound beach ball is lowered from a tower 12 stories high.
In Praire du Chien, Wisconsin, A carp (real but dead) caught by a local fisherman and weighing between 25-30 pounds is lowered.
In Vincennes, Indiana, a giant 18-foot, 500-pound steel, and foam watermelon is raised 100 feet during the final 60-second countdown to midnight.
…..and there are many, many others!!!
Several Amazing Facts About the New Year Celebration
The Babylonians celebrated New Years over 4,000 years ago.
The New Year’s song, “Auld Lang Syne,” means, “times gone by.”
If you want to have a happy new year, don’t eat lobster or chicken. Lobsters can move backward and chickens can scratch in reverse, so it is thought these foods could bring a reversal of fortune.
The Jewish New Year is called Rosh Hashanah. Apples and honey are usually eaten to celebrate.
In Italy, people wear red underwear on New Year’s Day to bring good luck all year long.
In some countries, the use of fireworks are used for more than just celebrations…they are also believed to scare off evil spirits and bring good luck
44% of American adults plan to kiss someone at midnight.
61% of people say a prayer.
Over 1 million people line the 40 miles of shoreline of the city of Sydney, Australia.
In Japan, at the stroke of midnight, Buddhist monks strike the gongs 108 times in an effort to drive out the 108 human weaknesses.
New Year’s Day is the oldest celebrated holiday.
Many people in America, eat Black Eyed Peas, cabbage, and ham on New Year’s Day for good luck.
In South America & Spain.
A person will take 12 red grapes and 12 green grapes and at midnight, they eat their first 12 red grapes, thinking about each month that passed this year, and all the things that they are grateful for that happened this year. Then they eat the 12 green grapes, thanking in advance for each new month’s blessings that will come the next year. (I know, it’s a lot of grapes to eat, so most people only do 12 grapes, and I guess they combine the gratitude for the months past and the months to come) I remember Pink or red underwear was usually for Christmas and yellow undergarments for good luck in the New Year.
No matter what tradition, this is a wonderful opportunity to reflect with gratitude for the experiences and lessons we receive this year, and to pan on the areas we want to improve or change as we have an exciting fresh chapter in our lives to start anew. (Contributed by Amira of Body and Soul Nourishment Blog).
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Well, I hope that you enjoyed these tidbits and facts. I would like to personally wish each and every one of you the healthiest and happiest New Year!!
One of my favorite time of each year is the celebration of Thanksgiving and all that it entails. Meeting with family, friends, and relatives…eating the Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings…playing football in the cool weather then coming into a warm house and smelling all of the scrumptious food…watching NFL football games on TV…or simply going around the dinner table and listening to each person share the things that they are thankful for.
Thanksgiving is truly a time to give thanks. We have SO MUCH that we should be thankful for but sometimes, we can forget just how much we have been blessed. The following story, that was conveyed by Cary Schmidt, is a cute little story that (I hope) will serve as a reminder to the many blessings that we have been given.
Two old friends met each other on the street one day. One looked forlorn, almost on the verge of tears. His friend asked, “What has the world done to you, my old friend?”
The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you: three weeks ago, my uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars.”
“That’s a lot of money.”
“But you see, two weeks ago, a cousin I never even knew died, and left me eighty-five thousand dollars, free and clear.”
“Sounds to me that you’ve been very blessed.”
“You don’t understand!” he interrupted. “Last week my great-aunt passed away. I inherited almost a quarter of a million from her.”
Now the man’s friend was really confused. “Then, why do you look so glum?”
“This week . . . nothing!”
That’s a problem with receiving something on a regular basis. Even if it is a gift, we eventually come to expect it. The natural tendency is that if we receive a gift long enough, we come to view it almost as an entitlement. We feel hurt, even angry if we don’t receive it any longer.
It is the same way with the blessings God gives us every day. I don’t deserve the comfortable home that I live in, the beautiful scenery around me, the clean water I drink. But after receiving these gifts (and a multitude of others) for years, I sometimes fail to be grateful. I’ve come to expect these good things. And when one of them is removed for a short time (like water or electricity or the internet going down), I get upset.
Let’s make an effort today to recognize the blessing we’ve come to take for granted. Focus on what we have rather than on what we don’t have, and see if it doesn’t improve our attitudes.
We all know the importance of daily exercise and all the benefits that it can bring. For people who are over 50 years of age, like me, the following exercise regimen might be one that you may find attainable!
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Stand on a comfortable surface.
With a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, extend your arms out horizontally and hold that position for one minute, then relax.
Each day you will find that you can hold this position a little longer.
After two weeks, move up to 10-pound potato sacks.
After one month, try 60-pound potato sacks.
Eventually, you will be able to lift 100-pound sacks in each hand, holding your arms out for one minute.
After you feel confident at this level…put a potato in each sack!!
Photo Credit: BiblioArchives / LibraryArchives via Flickr
I came across a short article about Microsoft co-founder, Bill Gates, when he spoke to a high school not too long ago. There has been some debate whether or not he actually delivered this speech, but the points here are “right on the money”. The following eleven points are things that people either did not or will not learn in school. He spoke about how the feel-good, politically correct teachings have created a generation of children who have no concept of reality and how these ideas have set them up for failure in the real world.
Personally, I think that these eleven ideas are very insightful and are things in which, if we are wise enough, can help us to enrich our everyday lives.
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Rule 1: Life isn’t fair…get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough…wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up…it’s not your parents’ fault…so don’t whine about your mistakes…learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they will give you as MANY TIMES you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are, you’ll end up working for one.
One of my favorite time of each year is the celebration of Thanksgiving and all that it entails. Meeting with family, friends, and relatives…eating the Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings…playing football in the cool weather then coming into a warm house and smelling all of the scrumptious food…watching NFL football games on TV…or simply going around the dinner table and listening to each person share the things that they are thankful for.
